I know, I know….I write A LOT about letting go. And there’s good reason for it. I recently wrote a post for my TBI – Living New Normal blog about allowing healing to happen in its own way and time. Essentially this post was about letting go of a past situation. In this post, I shared about my identification (memory) with a past situation related to my husband’s traumatic brain injury that was blocking me from being in a free and easy space with my Mother. It was a blind spot for me. Yet, once I became aware of what was happening, I was able to accept it and let go of it fully. The result? I’m happy, I’m present and in a clear, loving space with my mom.
I think I’ve mentioned before that when I share something such as in this blog or one of my other blogs (I have three :)) it is because I have found that sharing my experience is a powerful teacher. I’m coming from my experience of Truth (vs. an intellectual concept) and I’m passing this to you. I know it is the Truth and I know it works. And…I realize it is important that you also get this for yourself. That’s how it worked for me. With that being said, here’s a little guide to assist when finding yourself blocked from living in the Present by a past event:
1. First a little “primer” on “experience”: One of the dictionary definitions of experience is “an event or occurrence that leaves an impression on someone.” In other words, experience is always in the past. Experience leaves an impression in the form of a memory. In my experience, memories are sometimes blatant and in your face and at other times subtle and hidden. They can be sweet and lovely or sometimes sad or painful; they can sneak up on us when we least expect it. And sometimes when this happens, they block our fully aware experience of the present moment of now.
2. When you realize you are caught up in the past and that this is blocking you in your life either in a relationship, work or home situation, seize the opportunity to really look at what is going on and walk yourself through the process of acceptance:
- Ask yourself: What is in the space? What is it that is blocking my happiness in this moment?
- Now, feel this in your body. Is there an area of tightness or tension? Locate that contracted feeling and breathe into it.
- If you feel emotions coming up within you, allow those to be there also. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to laugh, laugh.
- Just let the experience be as it is and it will let you be as you are. Allow the thoughts to drift by you.
- Sit quietly with eyes closed and just watch the whole experience and allow the unwinding to happen on its own.
- Now enjoy the peace that arises as you let go of the past and live in the Present.