Living from the Balance Point – Final thoughts

IMG_2483As of August 1st, 2014 I will be shutting down this blog and the Balance Point website.  After going through a number of important life changes, it feels like time.  My job is done.  And in considering how to close out gracefully, I reflect back on something I told my son and new daughter-in-law shortly after they were married and heading off on their life adventure together.  It seems appropriate to share with you now. “You pretty much know everything you need to know.  All the answers to any questions you may have or solutions to situations you face are within you.” And…for the past three years through Balance Point this is what I’ve been sharing. All I’ve done is listened to the still balance point within, trusted it and shared with you as my personal discovery.

And…there is one last parting thought on the idea of balance.  First of all, let’s all recognize that it is a concept. And as any concept, it can be misconstrued and misinterpreted.  So I’d like to be very clear about what true “balance” represents – at least to me.  It does not mean perfection; it is anything but that. Let’s face it, perfection is not only overrated; it is exhausting too.  If we were all perfect life would be boring and one dimensional.

Balance is, in my perspective, the act of coming from that clear place within and responding from it – a clean perspective.    This “place” includes all the imperfections, does not judge them and is not pulled in any one direction by them.  It is peace and balance.  Or more aptly put – True North.  When coming from this True North you live authentically – warts and all. 😉

If you’re trying to “get to” balance then you are missing the boat.  There’s no “getting to”.  There’s only “coming from”.  And the only way to come from is to get quiet and listen.  However it works for you.  Whether it is walking, riding a bike, swimming, writing, singing, playing an instrument, sitting in silence, meditation, praying, sitting in church, synagogue, temple or mosque…open yourself to those regular opportunities to nestle into that space within you. Listen. Take in what is being heard. Receive. Contemplate. Accept. Rest. Relax. Recharge. Then choose to operate from from this perspective. That’s balance and what it means to live from the balance point.

Many blessings to you all. Thank you for hanging with me these past few years and best wishes on your next chapter of this adventure we call “Life”.

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Denial – Not just a River in Egypt

I am a competitive person by nature. And by this admission am hereby publicly confessing to be a perfectionist. In being a perfectionist, I am sometimes reluctant to admit to what I perceive to be weaknesses and shortcomings. Up until recently, I perceived the dynamic of denial to be a weakness. I thought it meant that I was not dealing with the situation at hand. Well guess what? The truth is that when I’m in denial I’m not dealing with the situation fully simply because it is too much to face in the moment.

20131115-163921.jpgWhat I’ve learned over the past few years is that denial can be my friend if “used” purposefully. For example, back when my husband had his life-changing automobile accident I moved through various stages of denial. Months later I retained a copy of my husband’s hospital medical record. As I read through it I saw that I had been given the “wife is in denial” label. I was resentful, to say the least. “How dare they label me! What did they know about what I was experiencing?”

And now looking back on it I realize how right they were. I was most definitely and for very good reason in a major state if denial. Unbeknownst to me it I was in a good place and denial was my friend and guardian angel.

526635_479560988768275_1425642931_nWhat I’ve come to realize is that denial is a natural response to an unexpected and/or unacceptable occurrence. It is a protective mechanism that the mind, spirit and body move into when a situation is just too much to handle all at once. Allowing denial to be present can serve as a temporary safe space that one can use to become accustomed to the idea of what has happened. The key is to not sit in denial permanently – that’s when it becomes a crutch that can keep one from full acceptance and moving forward. Moving forward out if denial and into acceptance is an individual process for each of person. The important thing is to stay present with yourself as you are moving through it. And to the best of your ability, be grateful for the period of denial in which you find yourself as it is a natural time of adjustment as you move into a new-normal life.